Bring My Old Bangalore Back!

Originally Posted on my other blog spot - http://r-sharma.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm

Bring 19th Century Bangalore Back!
21st century’s progress, feels like a racetrack!

Well, I didn’t say that,
But it was another lady.
She’s also an Indian American
Whose thoughts were somewhat moldy!

This is an interesting story,
I had it in my head.
Tried writing in prose,
But I never really progressed.

Yesterday as you know my friends,
I had tried my first poem.
Why not try the same feat I said,
This story could use some rhyme!

This lady, she was wealthy,
And her ideas were valued.
She was an empty nester,
Who was pining for some solitude.

She was significantly older
Than most of my peers,
And she lived on the US Coast
Working here for years.

A prominent Kannada lady,
She’s involved in her community,
She’s a fixture around Little India,
Managing every religious activity.

A pious lady,
That’s for sure.
She’s retired now,
But she was a Professor!

After retiring from teaching position,
She was getting bored.
She scratched her head for lofty ideas,
Until she was sore!

One day, she made up her mind,
And she wrote a lengthy letter,
Hoping to inject into others,
Some cardinal character.

She mailed her letter quickly
To her temple’s editor,
Demanding him to print it promptly
In his very next newsletter!

When I read her lengthy letter,
This is what she’d complained,
“Where’s my native city of Bangalore
And why has it changed?”

“My frequent trips to Bangalore
Are getting so expensive.
Planning, packing and traveling
Is even more intensive!”

“Leaving this Western world,
I yearn for something Eastern.”
“True, I’m quite Western,
But that’s because I’m Indian American!”

“My Dear Bangalore, oh, she’s no longer Eastern!”
“Everybody dresses, speaks and looks American!”

“Now is this fair?
You tell me Sir?”
“What value am I getting
For my mighty Dollar?”

“Sure it’s inflation
And all that stuff.”
“I am an economist myself,
But that Math doesn’t add up!”

“I land in Basavanagudi
And what do I see?
Women wearing maxis,
Greeting me with ‘Hees’!

“I did not copy them,
I have deep-rooted values!”
“I decide to teach one neighbor,
The correct way to salute!”

“So I say “Namaste”
With great flair and flourish!”
“But she says ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’
And starts speaking in English!”

“That wasn’t necessary,
She was looking at me.
Is it very difficult
To fake 19th century?”

“It was late in the morning;
I was still wearing saree,
No, I wasn’t uncomfortable at all,
No, No Sir-ee!

Well, it’s true I admit,
I was feeling a bit sweaty,
But there came another neighbor,
Still in her Nightie!”

“Now you tell me readers,
Isn’t this so shameful?”
“19th century Indian women,
Used to be so bashful!”

“Middle aged women today
Wearing gowns all day,
They even go to the market,
Exactly the same way!”

“Not me in my silk saree,
I was the epitome of culture!
But, Bangalore women glared at me,
They glared at me like vultures!”

“To them all us saree wearers
Are weird and strange!
Stranger than their mysterious
New microwave range!”

“Most households on my street today,
Own microwave ovens,
Appliance stores in Bangalore today
Have been selling them by the dozens!”

“College students don’t eat healthy,
Even though their parents are wealthy!
They fix microwave meals just like Americans,
Now I may do it ‘cause I’m Indian American!”

“Bangalore’s kids eat Pizzas all day,
And they slurp those Noodles.
I feel sick just watching them,
They gulp them by the oodles!”

“Why, you ask?”
“Now let me tell you,
These Bangalore youngsters today
Just have no curfew!”

“Why don’t these lazy mothers
Mix some spicy Puliyogare?”
“Is it too hard to cook
In an old-fashioned Paathre’?”

“One of my relatives recently
Celebrated their wedding anniversary.”
“But do you know what they served for dinner?”
“Plain Chinese noodles with Gobi Manchuri!”

“Serving noodles to your guests,
Now I tell you, that’s so sad!”
“But that’s okay in America,
Serving noodles daily makes me glad!”

“Yes Maggie Noodles are so easy,
I do agree!”
“But they didn’t have any of those
In the 19th century!”

“Bangalore women should be cooking
Crispy PeNi and layered Chirroti.”
“I did not go flying that far,
That far for just plain Roti!”

“That’s not all that happened,
I was really shocked to see,
Those guests at my relative’s party
Sipped Vodka and Whisky!”

“They carried out their conversations
Only in English,
I tried speaking in Kannada again,
But that wasn’t stylish!”

“Yeah, yeah go ahead,
I know what you’re saying.”
“My American kids don’t speak Kannada,
And that hasn’t hurt their thinking!”

“Yeah sure, my kids drink beer,
And they drink some Whiskey too.”
“But poor American kids have to do it!
They drink Whiskey just to look cool!”

“If my mother-tongue in Bangalore
Is rarely ever spoken,
My expensive vacation’s ruined,
After all the trouble I’ve taken!”

“Religious activities in Bangalore
Are becoming very rare.”
“We have so many gods in America,
You can’t even compare!”

“Basavanagudi’s temple today
Has just one deity.”
“Indian American temples today
Have up to eighty!”
“Little India’s little temple
Has about eighteen!”
“They’ve dedicated one extra deity
To be worshipped on Halloween!”

“Where are all those flowers I say!”
“I see them no where!”
“They must and should be adorning
Every schoolgirl’s hair!”

“Bangaloreans have denied me,
My 19th century experience!”
“When I turn on their TV,
I only get MTV’s nonsense!”

“Those Indian girls on TV
And those girls in real-life,
They don’t wear red Bindis any more,
Nope, not even the wives!”

“Sure, I don’t wear Bindi at home
In United States of America.”
“Evil Dot-Busters, they might chase me
Just like those poachers in Africa!”

“You will see in Bangalore today,
Parents competing with each other.”
“It’s international school or private school,
As if there’s no other!”

“But I grew up traditional,
Studied in government schools.”
“Sure, that was all they had those days,
But, that didn’t make me a fool!”

“Yeah, I left India long back,
To pursue Higher Studies,
And I joined US institutions
To obtain my Masters Degrees.”

“But I had good reasons because
My government school education,
Had not prepared me at all
For India’s Natural Selection!”

“Those entrance exams in Bangalore
Were so very arduous,
Just competing with most Indian kids
Was absolutely strenuous.”

“But, not so in America,
Their standards are more moderate.”
“Before I knew it,
I became a double Graduate!”

“Now let me see,
Now what was I saying?”
“Ah yes, I remember!
These Bangalore girls are so daring! “

“They wear jeans all day,
And they’re everywhere,
Torn ones and frayed ones,
Now, I wouldn’t dare!”

“Sure, I wear blue jeans
Since I’m so Western!”
“But why should they,
Aren’t they still Eastern?”

“Okay, yes I admit to you,
Those blue jeans are fun.”
“But lately I’m having problems,
Just closing some buttons!”

“Indian Americans breaking traditions,
Now, that’s not hypocrisy!”
“You see, we live in America,
And that feels like aristocracy!”

“Now 21st century Bangaloreans,
Your better stop your progress!”
“Your successful IT revolution
Has caused me all this distress!”

“Rich Bangaloreans driving Rolls-Royces
The middle class in Tata-Sumos!”
“They are inflicting jealousy in me
Since I drive a second hand Lexus!”

“An orthodox Hindu, I do know,
That jealousy goes against Dharma.”
“But I do feel those jealous pangs,
And that’s just my Karma!”

“I traveled all this way
Hoping for some nostalgia.”
“But all your wealth and flamboyance
Is giving me nasty nausea.”

“Replace all those microwave ovens
With old fashioned kerosene flames.”
“Also bring back those bullock carts,
And try using them, that’s no shame!”

“I don’t care if you’re seriously backtracked!”
“My nostalgic trip really got sidetracked!”
“So what if your economy goes off-track,
That’s what happens if I take my Dollars back!”

“Come on modish Bangaloreans,
Flash me back to that lore.”
“Just bring back my Great Grandma’s”
19th century Bangalore!”

After reading this lady’s letter, I wrote her my reply,
Communicating exactly why her ideas wouldn’t fly.
How dare she complains in her letter that progress isn’t good?
Her hypocrisy was quite bulky, just like a big block of wood!

So I mailed my printed letter
To the temple’s association,
Only to find out days later
That they had dissociation!

You see, this orthodox lady
And her faithful group of followers,
Had broken up into two parties
And they each had lawyers!

Yes, my letter got lost,
In that temple’s skirmish.
But 21st Century Bangalore
Has continued to flourish!

By Ranjini Sharma

Copyright © 2007 Ranjini Sharma All Rights Reserved

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